1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
