I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
