i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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