make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
