she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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