hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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