have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
