if you like me you must not know who I am
it hurts more in the daytime
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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