This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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