Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
