from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My life is pants optional.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
