He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A+ Viking dick
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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