I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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