The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This baby is an asshole
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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