Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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