Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dear god my vagina.
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