he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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