I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
operation have a gay friend backfired
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
