You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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