Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
