She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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