thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm passing your future prison.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
