he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
