The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sex in a hospital.. check
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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