Say something about gay babies.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize