belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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