he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
