they need to just BURY HIM!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
