whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
