someone threw a dead crab at me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
