This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna passion pit in your ass
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
