It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
