I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
