I hate your face
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
