there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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