and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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