I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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