Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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