he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
