dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i barfeds in our rink
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
