so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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