He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
