my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love having hate sex.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize