ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
