"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
