This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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