Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
