also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I need a beard to bite.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
