So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
