i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
