so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
