can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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