break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
