Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
