Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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