Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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