How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
