Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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