i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
