Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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