these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
