he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
