I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
