do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize