She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
