wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
