Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
